Unreliable people

I can't stand stupid assholes that get you all hyped up and then they don't deliver.Two weeks in a row I've had a problem with some fuck face who can't come through with shit he said, which then makes me look bad. Its pretty fucking gay.

Taking a leak outdoors

Warning

I'm just forewarning readers that I use many different slang terms at the beginning of this to refer to male genitalia. So if you are uncomfortable with reading the word penis or any other form of word referencing that part of the male body I strongly suggest you do not read any further.




Because I am a guy I can pretty much piss any where because of my male part a.k.a penis, dick, cock, fuck stick, rod, shaft, Johnson, Jimmy, unit, peepee, dingle hopper, wang, etc. Its really fun to go outside and find a nice tree or bush and just whip it out and pee. I tend to use the toilet in the winter because its cold outside which then cause shrinkage, and nobody likes yellow snow thats just a dick move. But during the spring fall and summer, going outside to pee is really fun. I enjoy peeing of my deck, I really don't know why, its just a fun thing to do. The best part of peeing outside is the fact that you don't have to aim, You can just pee all over the place, obviously you still have to hold onto it to make sure you don't pee all over you leg or foot or pants, that would just suck. But you don't aim for the toilet bowl and what not. The only time one should aim them self outside would be if they were peeing in a large group, you wouldn't necessarily want to pee on the person next to you, and you don't really want that person to pee on you, unless you wanted to be a complete asshole. If thats the case don't come anywhere near me with a stream of urine coming out in my general direction because I'll fucking cut your fucking balls off and feed them to you. While peeing outside you always have to make sure your not peeing where people walk, don't whip it out and pee in the middle of someones else or your own backyard thats just really fucking stupid, and mean. Also make sure that you don't do it where a ton of people are because if anyone under the age of 18 sees your peepee you fucked. You become level three or some shit like that and one of those little flyers sent home in the mail and your life is fucked.

Organic Eye Drops

Seeing that I really can't think of anything to write about right now, I'm going to write about the fact that I have nothing to write about. I really hate sitting here trying to think of something witty to write about. It's a real fucking buzz kill, Its kind like taking a leak in the boys bathroom and some freshmen with improper urinal etiquette stands directly next to you, and then you catch the little fucker gawking at your junk. Its happened to me a few times and I'd really like to bitch slap the little bastard(s). Or when you have 573 hours 29 minutes and 46 seconds worth of music on your computer and nothing to listen to. Shit like that just sucks ass. But something that really kills a buzz is getting hit in the testicles or balls, nads, family jewels, junk, and other names that I can't currently think of. That really sucks, its the worst feeling ever, well I guess maybe not blue balls is probably the worst feeling ever but thats a muchly different topic. Anyways getting hit in the balls, it hurts Its funny to watch someone get hit but its never funny to get hit there.

Not looking forward to waking up tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning is really going to suck, It's the first time in a more then a week since if heard the annoying buzz of my fucking alarm clock. I really wish we didn't have to go to school, its goning to eat ass.

Rock Band

I just play the 4 most intense hours of rock band ever. It was pretty fucking sweet.

Warriors, come out to play-i-ay.

Why in fucks name are they going to remake "The Warriors"? Someone should stop people from remaking movies, I'm getting pretty sick of seeing good movies get turned into gigantic piles of shit. The Warriors is a cult classic, meaning don't fucking mess with it. If this movie really comes out and it sucks, someone should get really fucking hurt. Its like the Halloween remake, it seem like it was going to be great. Rob Zombie made it sound like he was going to bring life to the Halloween series again, instead his vision of Halloween just sucked massive fucking balls. Rob Zombie should give up on making movies, especially after butchering one of my all time favorite movies, that stupid fuck. Planet of the Apes shouldn't of been remade, actually Tim Burton should never remake movies, look at Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, all though that movie was more true to the book, it just ate ass. The 2005 remake of "The Fog" defiantly wasn't needed. The original wasn't horrible, but the remake was. I don't see the need to remake Friday the 13th or A Nightmare On Elm Street, but for whatever reason they are both getting remade. I just hate seeing great movies remade because most of the time the remakes just kill it. The only remake I've seen that has actually made the movies better was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it just made the film series more believable and it was just better then the original, although the original was great. The Evil Dead is being remade or so I've read but I think it might actually be good seeing that its being written by Sam Raimi, the guy who wrote the original, he also directed it but decided because of stupid fucking Spiderman 4 (why the fuck is this movie being made?) that he doesn't want to direct it.

I don't want to grow old

I was thinking today about how much its going to suck to grow old. It's pretty much guaranteed that I get some sort of illness because both sides of my family has multiple things. So that's gonna fucking suck because I don't want Alzheimer's or Parkinson diseases, or some of the other shit like kidney problems and heart problems. Plus I'm not looking forward to getting all wrinkly and watching certain parts of my body sag to the floor. That would just really suck.

My dream job

When I was little like 5 or 6 I wanted to play in the NHL. Unfortunately that will probably never happen because I have never played hockey. It would of been pretty sweet. After that I wanted to work for a secret government agency and do some James Bond shit. And since the eighth grade I've wanted to direct movies, and will hopefully be doing that in the near future. I've been writing screenplays and shit like that since ninth grade. I finished my first screen play midway through freshmen year. It was a zombie movie that was horrible, I think it used the "fuck" word something like 300 plus times, and had some other raunchy stuff, but for being my first screenplay It was pretty good. Since then I've made a few movies, and written a ton.

pop rocks and soda

the biggest crock of shit ever. I once thought that I would burst like a bubble if I did that. So I did it to see what would really happen. Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing. Hell at least it doesn't work cause if it did I'd be dead.

Being a douche in the work place.

A fellow rite aid employee just texted me and asked if id like the take her shift Saturday morning. I should do the nice thing and take it because I know I don't already work, but I'm an asshole and don't want to wake up early Saturday morning and to to work. That would just really fucking suck. Although the money would be nice seeing that I just bought a new phone and now I'm broke as a joke. I think I'm just gonna do that asshole thing and not take the shit so I can enjoy my sleep.

Probably the best book ever

I started to read the novel Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. It's a really good book and I think it should be a required reading in school. Although it doesn't really serve an educational purpose it's just really fun to read. It's pretty crazy, it's different from the movie. If you love you movie you should read the book, it costs $15.07 at Barnes and Noble. It's worth it though.

A Prick Monster Two-Faced Capitalist Suck-Ass Bastard

My boss informs me today that on Wednesday me and my fellow coworkers have to go to the Broome county health department for some stupid cigarette thing because this dumb bitch(obviously she was a high school drop out, you could tell because a box of pancake mix had more intelligence then her. She was only working part time, she did a pretty shitty job, normally she worked week days when there was little to no costumers cause she smelled really bad. And she was going no where with her sorry life.) that used to work at my place of employment failed a police sting and sold cigarettes to someone that was clearly under the age of 18. How the fuck does someone do something like that. It's store policy that if someone looks over the age of 27 we don't have to card if they look like they may be younger ask for id. It's quite simple to say may I please see your Id, but she obviously couldn't do that. I guess I shouldn't complain that much at least I'm getting paid for going there and wasting 3 hours of my time.

F**k Authority Figures...

For most of my life I've had a problem with authority figures. Some teachers, principles, the 5-O (a.k.a. rollers, pigs, the fuzz, po-9, cops), my parents, and some other people with status like that. I just don't like feeling like I'm being controlled never have, and probably never well. After I turned 18 I realized I really don't have to listen to anyone any more. Except for my dad because I still live in his house and I don't want to get kicked out because that would really fucking suck. I don't really listen to my mom, I never really have. I've never really gotten along with my mom (its a long story.) When my parents were still together I hated when they would ground me over the stupidest little thing. It was mainly my mother, I rarely pissed my dad off, sometimes I will admit I would fuck something up and I deserved to get grounded. When I was in middle school I spent most of the time grounded. During the time I was grounded I would sit and think about shit like this. I really fucking hate the police, That started when I started to skateboard, they would always fucking grill me. I used to go to East Coast Terminal all the time, that was the skate park in Johnson City, it's closed now which really fucking sucks. My grandmother lives walking distance so I would go over there all the time because my friends would go there like every weekend. The police would always give me shit when I would skate from the park to my grandma's or from her house to the park. They were just profiling, I skateboard there for I'm some punkass little jerk off that's gonna cause of problem. It's just bullshit. When I got my mohawk, it got worse. Oh shit a kid with a mohawk, bad news written all over him. When I would walk out of the highschool to go to lunch, those dicks, would follow me and just stare. Again I knew those assholes were just profiling. Waiting for me to do something. One time I was outside waiting for a friend, and someone I knew was walking by and he was asking my for a quarter. I had one so I gave it to him. A cop was right there and show it. Automatically assumed that it was a drug deal so he called in back up. We were both searched and it was pretty gay. We explained but they never take the words of a kid. Principles didn't really bother me until I got to high school. Some of them take there job a little to serious. I'm not gonna name names because that is a dick thing to do. But last year, I was pulled out of seventh period, they accused me of being high. They searched me and found nothing because well I don't use drugs. They did this stupid little pupil chart thing, my pupils were slightly larger then normal but that doesn't really mean anything. This year they try to tell me and a group of my peers that a video we made for class is to violent. How the fuck is a nerf gun violent? Just because it's a gun doesn't mean anything. It was a prop used for a video get over it. It's not like there was blood and guts. We did edit out all of the swearing and that was really the worst part about the movie. Finally this one teacher really bothers me. He's just a fat asshole douche bag. He takes his position of study hall guy way to serious. It's a fucking study hall man, not a Nazi Labor camp. I guess I really don't care now though seeing that I won;t have to deal with the asshat until next marking period seeing that I was recently removed from my senior study hall. anyways I feel that I have bitched enough for one night, so I guess that's it...

Indiana Jones and the reason I love being five at heart....

One of the best parts of today was the fact that the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull trailer was released today. I've probably watched it no short of 50 times, that's really not a lie I'm watching it as I type this. The fact that this movie is coming out makes me feel like a littlw kid again because Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Batman, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pretty much sum up most of my child hood. I'm pumped for May 22 because I'll be going to the midnight showing of Indiana Jones if there is one, and I will probably miss the entire day of school so I can see the movie all day. And then when I'm done I'll have to call my cousin and laugh because he had to go to work instead of being an irresponsible asshole and blowing everything else off for the movie...

Warped 07

It was a Wednesday, when a friend had called me and asked if I had wanted to go to the warped tour. I didn't get to go the summer before because of summer school meaning i missed out on a year which sucked because I've been going to warped for god only knows how long. I said I love to go to warped but once again my shitty grades got me into summer school. So I turned down the offer. I thought about long and hard for about 5 minutes and called him back. Fuck it I said how needs summer school when I can go to warped. The only thing that sucked was the the next day was my dad's birthday, so I told him sorry but I'm gonna miss your birthday cause I'm going to warped, he told me it was fine because his band was playing a show that night and we wouldn't of been able to do anything for it anyways. So the next morning we left Endicott and went to Scranton. We spent about on hour and a half in the car another hour and some minutes waiting in line, then the rest of the day was nothing but loud music and sweating all over. It was a pretty sweet day and I saw a lot of sweet bands. At the beginning of the video below you might notice a pair of legs sticking up in the air. There will be some black and white checkered vans slip ons where the feet are and some brown shorts. You might then notice that the person dips into the crowd and comes back up with arms in the air. That person will be wearing a green shirt. Although you can't see the front of the shirt, it says teenage mutant ninja turtles on it. Also on the back there are autographs from the band amber pacific. If you haven't figured out that the person I just described is me, then I don't know, but you might be a little slow. You may also notice that Kyle Lenga crowd surfs by at some point...

How much can you possibly know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?

That is one of the greatest questions ever asked. For those of you that don't know who asked the question I'm sorry because you've probably lived a small little meaningless life under a rock. Or you just haven't seen or read Fight Club. The point is one of America's forefathers Tyler Durden asks the question "How much can you possibly know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?" For a while I couldn't understand what the meaning behind it was until... I got into a fist fight with a friend of mine, and it wasn't like a joke fight, we weren't mad at one another we just wanted to fight. So we did and it was fuckin sweet. It felt really good to get into a fight and be friends with the person I was fighting with. We pretty much kicked each others asses and the there wasn't a clear winner or loser. It felt so good to be in pain. I know thats weird but it was just amazing, after the fight I felt extremely accomplished. Although I was sore all over the place and could barely move my left arm the next day, it didn't matter. If you ever have the opportunity to fight one of your friends in a non-joking way just for shits and giggles do it, you'll be like a whole new person... But be smart don't really physically hurt someone and just because I like fighting doesn't mean I advocate that you go out and fight someone.

Why Edd Ottman doesn't need an education

I don't really need an education, I bet in five years everything that I learned in the 12 years of schooling will be forgotten. What the fuck is the point to some of the shit , like the quadratic formula, when will I ever use that in my life. Or all of the useless shit you learn in science, I honestly can't remember a damn thing that I learned in science. Probably cause that course is a joke. Speaking of joke classes, the biggest joke class of them all is gym. Why the fuck do we have to take gym, New York state should change that stupid rule or law or whatever the hell it is, gym class does nothing. I get enough exercise walking up and down the stairs at school. I don't need to go to gym and waste 40 minutes every other day to get some exercise. Plus gym doesn't really make you smart, if anything its taking away from our education. Think about it like this, what happens if you get hit in the head with a ball? If the ball is traveling fast enough its gonna kill some braincells, which then makes you dumber.

My intense first blog

I guess seeing that i really have nothing better to do, I'm going to take sometime so i can bitch about the snooze button on alarm clocks. There really is not point to the snooze button, it doesn't really get you that extra sleep you are looking for, it just delays the fact that you have to wake up.
My snooze button only gives me 9 extra minutes of sleep, what the fuck does 9 minutes do, I'll tell you what it does, jack shit. I'm still tired as hell when i decide to get up. The snooze button just gives you false hope, you think when you press it that your gonna feel refreshed and completely awake after the alarm rings again, but by the time you fall asleep the fucking alarm is going off again. that just really pisses me off... the snooze button can burn in hell for the rest of its quite useless existence...